Oh My God!

Holy crap! We're so sorry it's been so long! Exciting life things do tend to get in the way of blogging, but we promise to try and make it up to you.

So much has happened, though, that we feel the need to acknowledge a couple of pop culture-related items (in no particular order) so you know we haven't totally slipped:

• All hail Prince George! (But we actually we mean this Prince George. Oh, Canadian humour!) Hopefully the little one will inherit his mother's shining head of hair and not his namesake's speech impediment. Fingers crossed...
• Angry, horny Kanye = love from Pitchfork
• Mad Men, what exactly was this last season? We're still puzzled.
• Catching Fire trailer omg Katniss + Peeta 4-eva11!!

More to come from us in the days to come. Until then:

ALL THE ROBOTS

Okay you guys, remember this post? Mocha though she would never be able to use the "robots" tag again. But, thanks to it Being the Future For Real, she can!

The United Nations Human Rights Commission recently posted a report online about the "legal and philosophical issues involved in giving robots lethal powers over humans". Because there are robots that exist right now that are only a step or two away from being able to make autonomus decisions about WHO TO KILL.

Actually.

This is crazy! And it opens up some fascinating questions and compelling arguments both for and against this new technology. (It's already got us thinking about some pretty heavy stuff which we won't get into here, because this is a happy blog! HAPPY!)

Suffice it to say, we'd rather the future look like this:

Instead of this:

We... uh... Sorry, What Was That?

We're sorry, are we supposed to be typing actual words right now? Because this happened:

THIS. 

HAPPENED.

(That is all.)

The Return of a Legend?

Mocha is going kind of insane at the news that Xabi Alonso may return to Liverpool.

It's hard to quantify exactly how huge of a deal his return would be. Latte's analogy is that it might be similar to the euphoria Edmonton Oilers fans felt at the return of Ryan Smyth to the win-challeneged hockey franchise.

Together on the midfield, Gerrard and Alonso made the opposing team shit their kits. It was a lot like this, actually (if you think of Stevie and Xabi as the umbrella.)

As recently as November Gerrard confirmed on Twitter that if he could bring one player back to Liverpool, it would be Xabi. And now, Liverpool is preparing a formal offer for the Spaniard.

Oh, and let's not forget that Xabi is "still in love with Liverpool Football Club". 

Yup. Liverpool Football Club.

We All Just Missed Out on the Cruise of the Century

Seriously, you guys. 

We all just missed the opportunity to take a cruise to the Bahamas with this man, and all the 90's glory he entails:

The "Mark McGrath and Friends" cruise was set to take place this October. The lineup was mind-blowing. Just take a look:

It reads like a Hinterland's Who's Who of "Rick Dee's and the Weekly Top 40" circa the best decade of your life. 

And the "special acoustic performances"? Apparently if your name is Ed and you were in a band that was popular in the 90's, you can no longer afford any music equipment except a pair of spoons, a bucket, and a comb with some wax paper over it. 

But before the masses could even begin to think about drunkenly slurring out the chorus to "Sex and Candy" in a roomful of people doing the same, the cruise was cancelled.

Let us hang up our candy necklaces, fold our Adidas tear-away track pants, and pour out a little Blue Raspberry Gatorade for what might have been.

Full soundtrack to your mindful reflections under the cut (and really, just an excuse to post these songs because OH MY GOD, THESE SONGS.)

Fernando Torres Cuts His Hair

For those of you that don't know us, we enjoy watching football. We also enjoy watching beautiful people play football. Fernando Torres is one of those people. 

We have a love/hate relationship with him (Mocha is especially torn.) He is beautiful. When he played at Liverpool (YNWA), he could do no wrong. The golden boy. El Niño. 

Then... he moved to Chelsea (vomit.) Since Chelsea is the antithesis of all that is right and good in football, we couldn't bear to watch him anymore. But we still love him. He makes our heart ache in this beautiful delicious way that we could probably channel to write some amazingly bad poetry.

Kickette has dubbed Torres "the Samson of the EPL", and they're right. When his hair is long and blond and flowing, life is good. Goals are scored. When he cuts his hair, things aren't quite so peachy. If he dyes it brown, that's asking for trouble.

So yesterday we discover that HE'S BUZZED IT ALL OFF. 

May the gods have mercy on our souls.

Can't pinpoint exactly who he reminds us of now, but it's definitely not his usual, wondrous blond self: